Saturday, July 2, 2011

Untitled By An Anonymous Sub

Untitled by a submissive

Of course I can’t tell you Her name, the laws of my chosen society forbids such a thing, a confession of this sort requires anonymity. When I think of Her I always seem to close my eyes and whisper Her name in my head like Nabokov, stretching out each syllable making it like honey over my thoughts. She happened to be in the courtyard on one of my first days at the Dominion, Her own voice coming through my speakers felt like a caress. The slow, soft manner in which She spoke, the inflection, the way each word sounded chosen specifically to have the exact effect She wished, it all sung to me. Admittedly I’m new to all this, I don’t fully understand, but there is a part of me that requires Her attention, to gain Her approval. When I come to the Dominion, I seek Her out, everything She says seems to be brilliant, She is strong in a way I wonder if I could ever be. The boys and girls She commands wilt at Her words, She makes them relent with Her velvety voice.

I hardly ever dream and even when I do they’re never good ones, I have my own tales of woe and they seem to dictate the visions provided by slumber, but then She was there. Like most Her SL and RL self don’t quite match up and in this dream the person I envisioned seems to be a third. She was short in stature just like Her avatar, She seemed to have the same milky skin and deep brown hair I saw in one of Her RL pictures, and in my dreams She always wore latex, curve hugging and black like midnight. The only thing that stayed constant in all three realms was the music of Her voice.

In these dreams it’s often the same, W/we’re in some room and twilight seems to be creeping in from a window somewhere, W/we sit on a sofa and She let’s me babble on about the mundane, I am overly excited about the proximity of Her breath. She plays with my hair and coos over the drivel my nervousness seem to spew. She draws me in closer and whispers things like, “Pet” and “Mine”. These words coming from Her lips seem to elicit a response from my body, they stroke the little flame that is my submissive hunger. She stands and Her command drowns out the sound of Her boots that had begun to draw my attention.

“Come Mine.” She says.

I rise and follow Her, I’m shy, Hers are the first commands I‘ve followed, She stands in the middle of this room, and I don’t know if it’s the dream or it’s Her mere presence there but the details surrounding Her seem to elude me. The walls that surround U/us are a warm blur and the floor W/we stand on is a wash of white. When I look up and all the light seems to be radiating from the warmth of Her hair, my knees weaken. The small flame inside me calls out to the muscles and tendons of my thighs to contract and bring me to a kneeling expression. She sees it in my eyes, somehow I don’t need to speak She can watch as I struggle internally to fight what I desire and what I know to be right. I ache everywhere to please Her, to amuse Her in some small way, to kneel for Her. She knows my plight, She does for me what any good Mistress would do, She reaches out and grabs a tuft of my hair forcing me down. There is no sinking to my knees, no slow sensual movement, I am down by her feet in a mere moment. A place I belong, a place I choose to be for Her, anything to please Her. Her fingers loosen and She runs them through my hair, She strokes me like one might stroke something beloved, this small act affirms me. Her fingers run along the curve of my jaw until they come to stop right below my chin, She lifts my face and looks me in the eyes, She leans in closer to me, Her nose brushes against mine,

“Good Girl. I think you‘ve just flipped on my sadistic switch. Good girls get spankings, now beg me to hurt you. ” She says.

Her scent makes me dizzy and as I hear Her begin to giggle, I melt. Her laughter alone fills me, could be enough. I open my eyes and gaze up at Her and watch as Her mouth spreads into a lazy smile. The gamut of my vocabulary runs through my mind, trying to find the perfect words to plead and grovel. I hear a whimper and realize the sound is escaping from my throat as I open my mouth to speak,

“Please Mistress, use me in any way to please Yourself, Your pleasure is my own.”

I awake then, not knowing if even in my dreams I have amused Her, because there too She teases me. This Lady of mine doesn’t know that I lust for Her acknowledgement, that I ache to be home at Her feet. I don’t feel worthy of Her quite yet, She may never know, for who am I to even ask such a thing of Her? For now, I’ll learn to be fulfilled by just the sound of my name coming from Her lips and when She bids me goodbye I’ll remind myself that she doesn’t mean it, that I’ll be graced with Her company once again.

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