Saturday, April 16, 2011

From SL To RL by Omega Althouse

I know Confessions is full of sexy stories.. this one is low on the erotica but it's my hope you might find it a little inspiring nonetheless.

At Zarita's urging I wanted to talk about my boy and I. You see, we met here on Second Life, and now we live together. We've shared a house and our lives for two years and we're expecting a baby together.

So how did we get there?

Well, it wasn't even in a femdom sim where we met. I used to help run one of the largest RP sims in SL, a place called Toxia. Amongst my duties there was running one of the player factions. My character was a vampire. She was always polite and reserved but it was clear that was a very thin veneer to shield a very dark and predatory being indeed.

Grr-Brool was a coyote shape changer, a Lycan. Even though the sim mythology had vampires and lycans at war with one another, he and I both felt drawn to one another. Our friendship built slowly, our romance even more slowly. As the faction leader there were no shortage of boys (and girls) keen to curry favour any way they could, and it wasn't always easy to tell the self-serving empty flattery of keen social climbers from sincerity.

Grr-Brool was different. He caught my attention not with flattery or fawning, but by working hard in the faction and always being at hand to assist me. It seemed as though whenever I needed something, there he was, at my elbow, cheerfully and eagerly offering. What's more he proved himself a competent and capable 2IC, I learned that I could trust him to not only follow my instructions but anticipate them. He earned my trust, slowly but surely. It was also clear that serving me, and making me happy gave him a deep satisfaction.

Of course while the "in character" (IC) things were going on, we were also getting to know each other "out of character" (OOC). We learned that a lot of the elements in each other's characters that attracted us were not an act, but drawn from our RL personalities. We found we had a lot in common... we moved in the same circles (albeit in different cities). There was a wide swathe of commonality between us. We were both poly, goth, with common pursuits and passions.. it was an auspicious start.

Of course, there were barriers as well. I lived in Brisbane, he lived in Melbourne. We both had carreers, committments, friends and family that tied us to where we were. He was in the midst of a very messy marriage breakdown, I was struggling as a single mum with two jobs.. at times it seemed as though the impediments to us being together "for real" were insurmountable.

In hindsight, I beleive these barriers have actually contributed very positively to our relationship now. "Easy come, Easy go" was never going to be our motto. The endless hours we spent on Skype and in IM windows meant we discussed a very wide variety of subjects, exploring each other's preferences... everything from how we wanted to raise our children to whether anchovies on a pizza are a delight or an abomination... it was, and still is, a source of wonder and joy to both of us that we are both similar and delighfully opposite-but-complementary in equal measure.

After over a year of interacting together in SL, the fates aligned to allow us to meet face-to-face for the first time. A conference bought him to Brisbane. To say we nervously anticipated the meeting was an understatement. Would the bond we both felt translate into "real life?"

As I waited for his plane to arrive, I found it difficult to keep my composure - so many emotions. Hope, fear, anticipation..

Finally he appeared. As our eyes locked we both knew - this was real. The connection was there. The mutual attraction was strong. He strode over through the crowd of other disembarking passengers and got down on one knee immediately. For a moment I thought he'd actually stumbled.. and perhaps it looked that way to the crowd around us, but neither of us were paying any attention to them.

I put my hand on his elbow and bade him to get up. At well over six feet tall, he towers over my five-foot-four.. I've still got no idea how he manages to look "UP" at me from that vantage, but he does. I took his hand, and put my arm around him and we walked through the airport. Already our feet were in step, it was effortless, as though we had been walking together all of our lives.

During that first sweet visit we had ample opportunity to explore our other mutual interests.. we both walked away from that encounter knowing we were meant to be together.

Making that happen hasn't been easy for either of us, but we both agree, it has been worth the effort.

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