Confession - Robb Darkbyrd

My confession does not come easily today as it is part of my admission of poor behavior and as a form of punishment from Miss Eva. Last night, in the courtyard area I was placed on the revolving hot seat as Miss Eva stated She had an issue with me. She had me strip and lay across a mat and promptly dug Her heels into my chest.

“Robb…where is my apology?” Miss Eva asked.

I answered, “I had sent it previously…did You not receive it?”

Miss Eva stated she had not received it and had me resend my notecard apology. To give some background, I committed the cardinal sin of offering some suggestions to Miss Eva after only being in SL less than a week. A sin I regretted after I sent it and certainly more after I saw Miss Eva’s posting on Fetlife.

“Not this apology Robb, I ignored that apology as soon as I received it, the other apology.”

My mind was scrambling…“Miss, what other apology?” I asked.

Miss Eva explained, “Remember your first day here Robb, when I told you that you would be here for trials, with no excuses, and what happened Robb? Where were you Robb? After I was so helpful to you before you even entered SL, Robb.”

My heart dropped…I remember that day and the conflict I felt. I had committed to attending trials, but shortly after my conversation with Miss Eva, another Dominion Mistress took me away to another sim and engaged me in a lengthy conversation. As time went on, I saw the announcements for trials starting soon and I felt such conflict… do I anger the Miss standing before me…or would I be missed at trials? A newbie like me would quickly fall from the thoughts of Miss Eva…I rationalized. Wrongfully so.

So with all that said, this is my act of contrition to Miss Eva. When I had committed my first faux pas, I felt genuinely ill and saddened in that I had disappointed Miss Eva…on many levels. First and foremost as a gentleman. I didn’t want to be seen as a rude guest in her home. Secondly, as a submissive it really did break my heart to have disappointed any Dominant, especially someone that had shown me so much kindness. I have a great deal of respect for Miss Eva and all She has created here. As well as her courtesy with me during my initial exploration of entering SL to once again experience my submissive side. All my correspondence with her incredibly helpful, detailed, and her kindness was very much appreciated.

If I am to be totally honest, there is one Dominion Mistress I have shared a great deal of my anxiety and worry about how Miss Eva perceives me since and whimper to her in private messages about it…which might sound silly to some, but to this submissive boy, it is a very sincere worry.

As I write this, I wonder how these words will touch Miss Eva…I wonder if she will be able to hear the sincerity in my words, how much subdrop I have experienced over this, how many times I have re-read on Fetlife her comments about a certain boys suggestions to her about how to run the sim and the corresponding guilt/disappointment/regret I have felt, and then last night realizing I had committed another previous sin I wasn’t aware of by not attending trials, realizing I had disappointed her not once, but twice now.

Unfortunately I will not be able to attend confessions due to a real life commitment, but I do wonder these things…and hope.

*I hope that Miss Eva accepts this very public apology for my missteps, and I sincerely ask….beg for her forgiveness.

*I hope in time She will realize I am passionate and serious in my desire to serve, and that my commitment to the D/s lifestyle is sincere, and there is more behind the computer screen then She has seen thus far.

*I hope that one day Miss Eva will know how much I desire to hear those words from Her ”Robb, your forgiven.” I know as a submissive, that will come on Her time, not mine.
Thank You Miss Zarita and all in attendance for hearing my confession.
Respectfully submitted,
Robb Darkbyrd